Today I Appreciate Mindless Task-Doing

I hate to admit it, but some days, there really is nothing better than just doing things that keep your body moving and prevent your brain from thinking too hard.

As much as I enjoy nourishing my brain (and, heck, I'm considering a profession where that's just about the only thing that is nourished appropriately), today was a day where I really didn't want think too much or too hard. So I didn't. I cleaned my apartment. I did laundry. I took another long run (here's to hoping this trend continues, right?). I mindlessly browsed through link after link on Facebook (as if this wasn't already one of your most-frequented webpages either). I read an excerpt from Google Books on how the Internet is changing the way we think (ironically enough. I suppose I'm a victim of this same kind of thinking!). I read nothing I didn't want to read today.

I'm trying to see this lack of commitment as refreshing. Is it sick/sad that after only a month of being out of school, I'm ready for school all over again? Perhaps it's because I don't know what else to expect. Perhaps I haven't had enough experience doing anything else to want to escape the structure of a classroom, but all of this freedom - I have to admit - is a bit overwhelming. I could do do SO MUCH, yet I seem to find myself paralyzed into not really doing a whole lot at all except for reading, reading, reading, and figuring out what's next. Maybe that's not such a bad thing and, indeed, that's probably what I should be doing right now. But I can't help but envy those with tidy internships/jobs, life-enriching planned vacations, or - O.K., another sick moment ahead - summer school.

I should probably stop before I hurt myself here, but this is what this blog is for, right? I am trying, after all, to appreciate all that's happening in my life no matter how hard it is to initially accept, right?

So, here I am quitting my belly-aching about having all the time in the world to do whatever I want. For most people, this would be a fantastic opportunity to really get to know one's self and discover who you really are. So from here on out, that's exactly what it will be for me, too. Here's the summer, where hopefully today's task-oriented mindlessness can be channeled into more of the baby steps I'm taking to tackle that thing known as becoming an adult.

Today I Appreciate Cooking Pizza By Myself while Listening to Loud Music

There are some days when you just need to cook. Today's been a day of writing, writing, writing and memorizing French. Assuaging an exhausted brain can only be remedied in one way: with mindless activity.

Cooking may not be the case for everyone. Cleaning, gardening, and organizing all seem like approximately equivalent tasks in terms of the amount of mental exertion/energy it requires. Cooking requires some motivation, of course,to create and use the side of one's brain that says "OK, Jenae, take this recipe step one, two, three, four until completion."

Following steps is a beautifully mind-numbing yet all-consuming task. Simply focusing on stirring over the stove top or chopping up an onion is a perfect and simple way to relax. I've been wanting to make homemade pizza for ages, staring at the pizza pan thrown in the cabinet with the other pots and pans, debating what to make and how to make it.

I made a really simple recipe (and used pre-made pizza dough, which definitely does not make me a very legitimately gourmet cook, but whatever) and... it was fun. I cooked for myself by myself and it was probably one of the most satisfying experiences I've had in a long time. See, I love to cook for other people and I love to entertain, but I love the lack of pressure in simply experimenting on a recipe for me. There are no expectations when I'm cooking for me. If I mess up, it's my own fault and I'm the only one who really has to suffer the consequences. I don't have to justify any culinary choices to anyone but myself. Sure, it's a little lonely in the kitchen knowing that you're the only feeding yourself, but finding happiness in autonomy and realizing that being alone does not necessarily equate to loneliness is beautiful.

Doing something like cooking by yourself, too, provides an opportunity to just be and not worry about other people's expectations of how you should act, too. I didn't have to worry tonight about maintaining a conversation while attempting to pay attention to the stovetop. All I had to do was stir, focus on the Franz Liszt I had playing at high volume in the background, and... create great food. It's funny how simple life can be when experienced all alone every once in a while.

Now here's the greater question: to continue my culinary conquests (how's that for some alliteration) with a batch of sweet potato and walnut muffins or no?